Having diabetes means having to hear “jokes” like this:
"I’d get you cake but I don’t want your foot to fall off hahahahaha."
Hahahaha THAT’S SO FUNNY. Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you FUCK YOU.
I’m done. I’m so fucking done.
• “At least you’re not dying!”
• “You’re only disabled if you let yourself be.”
• “You need to tell yourself you’re going to get better, else you won’t.”
• “But you can’t be in pain ALL the time, don’t exaggerate.”
• “You don’t LOOK ill.”
• “There’s so many people worse off than you.”
• “I’m sure you don’t REALLY need help.”
• “Sometimes it’s easier to just give up.”
• “Stop being so negative.”
Everyday there’s a different battle to face…
Can you find my pump? Heh. Sick of these high blood sugars right now. I want to leave school, crawl in bed, and sleep all day. Maybe throw some dog cuddling in there too. It’s gonna be a long day.
Let us take a moment to acknowledge what little fucks I have given about my diabetes for the past week. This is bad. I have been ignoring my diabetes all week while I was on spring break and focusing on other things in my life. I feel like shit though. I don’t know why I do this to myself. I’m taking my correction right now so I’ll either go low in the middle of the night or wake up and be fine.
Diabetes is the most exhausting condition to have. It just doesn’t stop. Note to future self: spring break does not mean you get a break from diabetes.
update… I did, in fact, just go and change my site. Things still aren’t working out right now, but at least I have insulin in me. (The headache and stomach ache will linger for hours though, I should sleep it off…. or watch netflix for a few hours)
nothing is working out right now. not one thing. and I just ran out of insulin in my pump but I can’t bring myself to go downstairs and change it. I just can’t. I can already feel myself getting sick but I can’t bring myself to do it.
I want this to be over. I want them to find a cure.
Looking for a silver lining in the diabetes cloud…
I recently committed to DePaul University for next year, and I’m planning on majoring on Psychology and Health Sciences! I’m super excited, but in making this decision I’ve also had to do a lot of thinking. Like how do I explain my diabetes to my roommate? How much is too much to tell them? I don’t want to freak them out, but I want to make sure they know what to do in case of a bad low/extreme high. Ugh. Any suggestions on how anyone else went about the roommate situation?
I don’t mind explaining my disease to people, but at a certain point I just get tired of having to flesh out the intricacies of what diabetes is.
It’s not a one sentence definition in a textbook. It affects your life literally 100% of the time. And I guess I get sick of having to explain that I’m sick.
I don’t know y’all. What are your thoughts?
I can get annoyed as well, but I prefer people asking rather than assuming. The assumption pisses me the hell off. And even though I have Type 1, I get tired of needing to defend Type 2s. And I get annoyed that people hear what you have to say, then brush it off afterward, as if the disease is over for you like the conversation about it is over for them. I get tired of the assumption that some diabetics bring it upon themselves, as if they don’t deserve empathy for having a chronic illness. I get tired that the news and society perpetuates this idea of diabetes as something to look down upon. And I get tired of the way people treat diabetes as if there were a cure for it. It’s only sad if a child is diagnosed. (Which it truly is, I can’t imagine being diagnosed as a small child. But Type 1 Diabetes is no longer considered “juvenile diabetes” since adults are now being diagnosed with T1D.) But if you’re diagnosed as an adult, well, fuck you, you obviously had it coming.
I just wish there was compassion for everyone. Not just compassion for diabetics, but compassion for all who suffer from chronic illnesses and other illnesses. One disease is not better than the other. If you are sick, you are fucking sick. It doesn’t matter if I can show you how I’m sick or not. I despise how people forget this.
accurate. very accurate.